


just love me (with my faults and scars)

by zinabug



Category: The Mechanisms (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Cuddles, F/F, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Heart-to-Heart, Hurt/Comfort, I write all my thoughts in the tags nobody is going to read all the way through asmr, It’s a little more angsty then I meant? But still mostly fluffy, Ivy STIMS and INFODUMPS because I SAY SO, Yearning, but like yearning while being held by the person you're yearning for, me writing this: what if... raph... wrapped someone.... in her wings..., they are both sad but its okay they understand each other, they... care for each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:54:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23920027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zinabug/pseuds/zinabug
Summary: the girls are cuddling! and having deep discussions about their feelings! and *whispering* kissing a littletitle from till your heart is still by vian izak
Relationships: Ivy Alexandria/Raphaella la Cognizi
Comments: 7
Kudos: 66





	just love me (with my faults and scars)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [who_are_we](https://archiveofourown.org/users/who_are_we/gifts).



> HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
> 
> this is my 25th work also! Hell yeah!

It was the fifth time before she went to Ivy. 

At least, she had thought it was going to be the fifth time, stumbling into the library holding a wound in her side and tasting blood to find Ivy sitting cross legged on her desk reading. 

“How long?” she gasped, crumpling to the floor. 

Ivy had set the book aside and looked at her, concerned, beautiful. She had come sit on the floor next to her. 

The wound was healing, something unexpected, but all of it was very new and unexpected. 

“How long what?” Ivy had asked, pushing some of Raphealla’s hair out of her face. 

“How long does it keep hurting?” she had pleaded, feeling Ivy’s light touch linger. “How long? You’re the one with the answers.” 

Ivy had looked at her for a long minute. “Forever.” 

She had cried then, and Ivy had held onto her. It had felt so long, although she knew it was just a second in the millena stretched out in front of her. 

Ivy found a rag, a piece of an old shirt she used to dust bookshelves, and wiped the blood off her face and hands before pulling Raphealla into her lap. 

“Does it get better?” she asked, curled in Ivy’s lap while Ivy fiddled with her hair, the best place she could imagine. 

“No, but you aren’t alone,” Ivy twirled a lock of her hair around her finger. “Didn’t you plan for this? You did this yourself.” 

One of Ivy’s hands lightly touched her back, between the wings, and she suddenly couldn’t think clearly.

“Not for the pain,” she closed her eyes. “I didn’t expect that.” 

“There isn’t much you can do for that,” Ivy said quietly. “I could distract you,” 

She tipped up her face to look at Ivy again, realizing she would never get tired of looking at her. 

“Distractions,” She said quietly. 

Ivy nodded. “I could read to you, or we could just keep sitting here,” Ivy paused. “Or…”

Raph reached up and paused, hand centimeters away from Ivy’s cheek. 

Ivy took Raph’s hand and pressed it against her cheek. Ivy’s hands were cool and soft. “It’s okay to touch me.” 

One of the things she had learned about Ivy was she didn’t like to be touched often, but when she did, she was very cuddly. 

“Or?” She asked. 

“You’re pretty,” Ivy said. “Did you know that?” 

She was blushing, she could feel it.  _ Did you know you’re beautiful and perfect?  _

She hadn’t even known Ivy long, It had been maybe a year and most of that time she had been alone in her lab. But Ivy was the one who had checked on her, talked to her about the interesting things she loved. 

It was the way she would tip her head to the side slightly as she smiled, the way she would get too excited to even speak and just wave her hands. How she was quiet and calm, unlike the anger and fire of the rest of the crew. It was just so perfect. 

Ivy smiled slightly at her, taking her hand and lightly kissing her palm. 

She didn’t expect that, something so gentle to and intimate from Ivy.

“It hurts, and your mind and body will ache under the weight of centuries,” Ivy moved the next kiss to the inside of her wrist, leaving shivers up and down her back. “I’m so sorry.” 

Raphealla La Cognizi had thought she wanted this. She had done it herself, attached each metallic feather to the delicate frame now a part of her. Now, curled in Ivy’s lap, she wasn’t so sure.

“The only good thing about- so much of this,” she pulled her hand away from Ivy’s and moved it back to Ivy’s face, cupping it around her cheek. “Is that I will get to be with you forever.” 

०

Romances didn’t tend to last long on the aurora. They would break up and come back together, get into fights, kill each other and be kissing the next minute. Although, it might be more like a year or a few then a minute, Ivy didn’t keep track of time well.

She knew whatever relationship they started wouldn’t last forever. 

But that wasn’t a reason to never have one. 

Raphealla’s wings shone in the dim light of the library, her hair falling over her shoulders and face. Her hair was beautiful, and Ivy had wanted to run her fingers through it, and style it, for a very long time. 

“So,” Raph said abruptly. “Could I kiss you.” 

She looked down at her, and in that moment didn’t want to do anything more. 

“For research,” Raph added. 

“Well, of course. For research.” 

Raph reached up and kissed her, quick and light like a feather brushed against her lips. It almost ticked, an itch that she wanted to scratch with another kiss. 

“Glad to be of aid in your  _ research _ ,” Ivy said, brushing some of Raphealla’s hair out of her face. 

“Hmmm,” Raph was smiling slightly. “I think I need more evidence.” 

“Oh, do you now,” She was smiling too, her first smile in a while. “Well, anything for science.” 

“You can’t make a conclusion without more proper evidence,.” Raph said, innocently straightening Ivy’s collar. 

“Correct.” 

०

Ivy’s lips were as cool as her hands. 

Raph wrapped her wings around ivy, pulling them closer together. She didn’t realize exactly how much she had been longing for the touch of another person before that moment.

Raphealla has always been lonely, and Ivy’s touch opened a gaping hole in her heart. All of the weight came crashing down again. 

She was crying again, and Ivy broke away from her. 

“Hypothesis,” Ivy said. “You need more physical contact.” 

Raph nodded, silent tears streaming down her face. 

“Conclusion,” ivy added. “I should hug you.” 

She nodded again, even though she was in Ivy’s lap, her wings wrapping around the two of them. 

Ivy moved her hand from Raph's face and wrapped her arms around her, tucking her forearms under the place where Raph’s wings connected with her back. 

She had been expecting it, but that didn’t keep her from gasping in pleasant surprise. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, feeling tension leave her body. It was so nice to be held. 

“Do you forgive me?” she asked. 

“For what?” Ivy asked her. 

“Everyone else is so angry at me, for doing this,” she moved her wings away from Ivy, regretting the cool draft, and spread them out behind her. 

“The rest of the crew is bitter,” Ivy reached out and paused, waiting for Raph’s nod, before she started stroking the feathers. 

“And you aren’t?” Raph asked. She wanted to wrap her wings around ivy again, kiss her again. 

“I- I don’t remember enough to be bitter,” Ivy pulled her hand away. “Doctor Carmilla was not a good person and none of the rest of the crew exactly consented to immortality.” She closed her eyes, reaching for her necklace to spin the beads around. Ivy only did that when she was upset. 

Raph wrapped one of her wings around Ivy’s shoulders. Ivy opened her eyes and smiled slightly, reaching one hand up to touch the edges of her feathers. The other hand was still twisting around her beaded necklace. 

“I’m sorry. I-” she bit her lip.  _ I don’t even want this immortality anymore -  _ words on the tip of her tongue, words she wouldn’t say. 

“You don’t need to apologize,” Ivy smiled slightly. “I’m not upset with you for experimenting, for wanting to know what would happen.”

Raph nodded. Ivy understood the curiosity, Ivy understood the thousands of thoughts and ideas always passing through Raph’s head. 

“You understand it. The wanting to know,” she said, feeling the words stiffness after she had finished speaking them. 

“Needing to know,” Ivy adeed. “When a question gets in your head and just consumes you.” 

“We understand each other,” Raph said again, moving closer to Ivy and lightly pressing a kiss to her forehead. Her hands lightly brushed through her hair, feeling the cold metal strips along the side of her head. 

Ivy hummed softly and reached a hand up to the side of her face. “Kiss me again?” 

“Of course.” 

  
  



End file.
